The new year often represents a fresh start for most people. Some people consider a continuation of last year’s ambitions, while some of us consider it a chance to start afresh and renew our intentions.
Starting afresh often requires some mental decluttering and self forgiveness in order to move forward on this new journey. This is exactly how my year started out. January 2023 started out eventful for me. As usual, my mum celebrated her birthday on the 6th of January. Shortly thereafter, I received news that I had been admitted to the Abuja law school. A new chapter in the life of every university law graduate. The next and final step to becoming a Legal Practitioner called to the Nigerian Bar.
Truth be told, I had been expecting this posting for awhile now. I was almost sure that I wanted Abuja campus out of all 6 Law School campuses in Nigeria ( although that was until I saw the Port harcourt campus and my prayers changed instantly to ‘God please do either Port harcourt or Abuja for me but not Lagos or Enugu’) for 2 reasons.
One, I’ve been informed that lectures are less tedious than the Lagos campus. I’ve sworn my allegiance to the soft life.
Two, I just wanted to leave Lagos and explore a different part of Nigeria for awhile (which is very unusual for me because I’m a notorious couch potato who hates leaving her comfort zone). Actually that’s a lie, my childhood best friend lives here and she was even more excited for me to come to Abuja for law school. We only get to hang out once a year so we’ve been looking forward to hanging out more often.
As for other campuses, I just knew they weren’t for me. Why? you may be wondering. As for Enugu, all I heard was snakes and I ruled it out. Yola was too far. (Although I’ve heard it’s still pretty new.) Yenogoa campus... hell nah. That left me with the 2 options. Abuja or Port-Harcourt.
I had been holding my breath for about 5 months waiting for law school admission and posting. In that time, I went on a self growth journey and started exploring who I am as a person. I enjoyed the experience so much that I almost didn’t give Law School a passing thought except when my friends brought up the usual ‘when they go post us?’ questions.
As the months rolled in, I gradually lost the zeal to prepare because there was no definite date or location for me to plan adequately. So I let the messages on the Law School Prep group chats pile up into the hundreds (at the penultimate minute, going through those chats, got on my to-do list).
The first few days after my posting to Abuja, I realized I wasn’t hyped up about it. I had been in my feelings about a lot of things. (This may or may not have anything to do with period hormones) in fact, it wasn’t until 5 days to resumption that I started running helter skelter trying to figure everything out. By now, the perfectionist in me ensured that I had drafted at least 7 to-do lists and 3 to-buy lists (fun fact about me, I hate leaving any stones unturned.)
However, in my usual fashion, I spent more time on procrastinated itemson my to do list but were not top priority. Now with only 2 days to resumption, I’ve rearranged my plans more than 5 times going over it over and over again to find the best way to execute thousands of things on my to-do list. I’ve summed it up to the 3 days left.
As the day is going by, I find myself with my trusty note pad and pen in tow, marking each item off my to do list.
Now that I have gotten off that slightly nervous stage of not knowing what to do(I do not do well with confusion) I can now explore how I feel about this new phase.
One thing I’m certainly excited about is the new experience. I’m excited about the new people I’ll be meeting which is saying a lot because I’m notoriously known for having a low social battery. I’m excited for my first time on an airplane. Age 25 has marked some firsts for me like first time on an aircraft, first photoshoot, first 500 followers on Instagram (lol). I’m excited for the lectures, to see how I cope learning new laws and remembering old ones. I’m most especially looking forward to see if it’s really as hard as they say it is (I know it probably is but God has got me because I’ll never stop calling on Him)
I’m excited to explore Abuja (Tosin is already sending me videos of places to visit) I’m excited to have my crew bond again over this new experience. I’m excited to see old friends and acquaintances. I’m excited for what life has to offer. Although there’s that little miss pessimist that whispers in my ears ‘what if something goes wrong?’. I haven’t been able to shake her off completely since I was in that ghastly accident with my mum and sister back in June 2022.
However I’ve gotten pretty good at shunning her immediately. I keep reminding myself to stay positive and not let fear hold me back from enjoying life. I can already feel the excitement in the way my heart dances and the way my breath races like a child on the playground. I feel the warmth creeping up my neck leaving chills along its path. I can feel excitement, positivity and the fact that I’m looking forward to this new beginning. A new chapter where I get to be introduced to part of me I didn’t know before and getting reacquainted with parts of me that I already know. A new chapter I know will be filled with tests. Tests that can and will only make me into a stronger woman. Tests that will define who I am and engrave deeply in me, all that I’ve learnt so I never forget.
The word representing this new chapter for me is ‘excitement’ because I am looking forward to the woman that I’ve dreamt of for so long but I’m finally now becoming. Ready to go into the era of embracing my femininity and defining my own values. The era of standing by what I believe in (even though a part of me is scared of what people say to me God forbid I don’t conform to their views). An era of becoming unapologetically me and focusing on leaning into my feminine energy. Being soft, unfazed, happy, balanced and gliding through this storm called life. I’m excited to put into practice all I’ve learnt in the past year. Excited to see how long I can stay consistent till these habits become second nature. Focusing on my ambition and going after what I want with confidence and renewed vigor. I’m excited for the things I’m yet to see but I know will amaze me (because I have been learning to see the good in our surroundings as a way to appreciate God’s work and the gift of sight). I’m excited for new business ventures. Strategizing on old ones and getting used to the content creator lifestyle. Getting excited about this new journey of storytelling that’s not in a way I’m used to but in a way I’ve always dreamed of doing. Excited for those days when the struggle becomes real and I feel like I’m drowning but I’m really not. The days that’ll test my tenacity and my ability to stay consistent to the only promise I made to myself this year which is to be consistent. Excited about my financial journey and how I will commit to making my dreams come true. Excited about the little things. Excited for my childlike animation when experiencing this new things. Excited to show myself as I truly am. No forming. Just a small town girl excited about new experiences in the big city. Excited to feel power like they say resides in Abuja . Excited about the nervousness and tentativeness of exploring and testing my limits in situations that I fear only because of my paranoia. I’m excited for my new beginning.
What are you excited for? Are your plans going as planned? Let me know in the comments.
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